Jesus vs Satan

This is one of the best jokes I've seen in awhile!

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports .

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any? God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES.... B) :laugh: :laugh: B) Deep Down In Florida Where The Sun Shines Damn Near Every Day

It is sad tho that y'all just joke about it... :dry:

---Noah floated his "stock" while the rest of the world was in liquidation. ---How many people can you get in a Honda? In Acts Ch 1 there were 120 people in one accord. ---Who was the worst kisser in the Bible? "Jacob kissed Rachel and he lifted up his voice and wept." ---Smoking" Rebekkah saw Isaac and she lit off her camel. ---Baseball? hundreds of places...Rebekkah walked with the pitcher...Egypt was full of flies...so & so cut off the bases...the prodigal made a run home...In the BigInning...you get it... ---Tennis? Joseph served in pharoah's court...

I collected over 100 Bible jokes.

Lanny

A few minutes before the church services

started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’

The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.

‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.

‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.

‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.

‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

‘Nope,’ said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘ Why aren’t you afraid of me?’

The man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.’

CIAK Said: JESUS SAVES.... B) :laugh: :laugh: B) Deep Down In Florida Where The Sun Shines Damn Near Every Day

This part is NO joke tho...and VERY true! and it was a good one.. :laugh:

Yes...That's a good one!

And Moses invests!